Announcements 1

We have all gathered here today to remember the memory of...um...what's his name... heck care. Anyway, the lockers in our school seems to be misused. As you all know, Stew Pit S. Ole, a student, was violently pushed into Smart S. 's locker. As you know, Smart is a big brainiac, and so it would come to no surprise that he was researching on the affects of nuclear waste locked up in a locker, and so Stew, sadly, got drenched. But no worries, he is in the intensive care sick bay, under my treatment. Oh yes, most of our school's supply of duct tape is now wrapped around Stew's arteries. On further notice, the school scissors is NOT covered in his blood, but soaked with some ketchup found in his internal organs, and that will be today's lunch menu. Sit down, Drake Coola. Our caretaker, Mr Pauls, has told me that a few of you have not been using the overhead bridge when crossing the road to get home. This is unacceptable! Do you know how long it took me to make the bridge all flimsy and planted with land mines that affect a radius of 70 miles away?! Please note that tommorrow is the deadline for the urinal field trip consent forms. That is the end of the announcements. Thank you, and get out of here. You all smell.