A Continuation of Annnouncements 1

Good news! Prior to our last announcement, we have bought a new supply of duct tape! Woohooo! Huh? Where we got the money since this school is free? Well, we took the money in the box outside the General Office! Yes, the one that had "Please Donate for Stew Pit S. Ole's Medical Bill" written on it. Don't worry, he'll regain conciousness. In about, 3...4... maybe 5...

Announcements 1

We have all gathered here today to remember the memory of...um...what's his name... heck care. Anyway, the lockers in our school seems to be misused. As you all know, Stew Pit S. Ole, a student, was violently pushed into Smart S. 's locker. As you know, Smart is a big brainiac, and so it would come to no surprise that he was researching on the affects of nuclear waste locked up in a locker, and so Stew, sadly, got drenched. But no worries, he is in the intensive care sick bay, under my treatment. Oh yes, most of our school's supply of duct tape is now wrapped around Stew's arteries. On further notice, the school scissors is NOT covered in his blood, but soaked with some ketchup found in his internal organs, and that will be today's lunch menu. Sit down, Drake Coola. Our caretaker, Mr Pauls, has told me that a few of you have not been using the overhead bridge when crossing the road to get home. This is unacceptable! Do you know how long it took me to make the bridge all flimsy and planted with land mines that affect a radius of 70 miles away?! Please note that tommorrow is the deadline for the urinal field trip consent forms. That is the end of the announcements. Thank you, and get out of here. You all smell.

Something very, very disturbing

If I'm shaving something you think is weird, at least let me do it in private!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lesson 3: What's a hero without a villan?

Yup, we're gonna make an evil villan. Villans, evil as they are, are actually very useful in comics. Making villans is as easy as making heroes. So, to think up of villans, we don't think of the most evil thing in the galaxy (such as homework), but of the craziest thing we can imagine... Well, my favourite homemade-villan is... (sorry, you'll have to see his picture at the side cos' something's wrong... I can't add an image in my posts...) THE BANANA-CRAVING VAMPIRE ROBOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol... yup, he's a real doozy... <:)... Anyway, just let your imagination run wild and nude (sorry, PHD acting up...). Villans, in all great comics, are crazy things. After imagining it, draw your evil eskimo on your doodle pad (didn't bring it? You're expelled!... for 0.000001 nanosecond.). Write down little notes about him. What's his powers? How did he become evil? Nuclear waste is often to blame for creating monsters. I do it all the time! KABOOOSSSSHHHH!!! (Pardon again my PHD.) Or you can just think up of other creative reasons! Like too much homework! Swine flu! Excess girliness! Counsellors! Potty-training pressure (I have experience)!!! Next lesson: Time to draw comics!!!! (By the way, follow this blog! Cos' I'm all lonely... )

Lesson 2: Designing Super Heroes

Okay, so you've got what we need for the comic book? Good! Cos' we're not gonna do that in this lesson! Stop throwing orange peels at the computer screen, okay?! I just forgot to tell you we won't need it for this lesson!!! Anyway, take out a doodle sketch pad (or any paper) and a pencil and eraser. We're gonna make some Super Heroes!! So first, daydream. Clear your mind... think only of stuff.... got an idea for a character? No? No sweat! Just follow these tips for thinking up main characters:

1. Animal heroes are pretty fun to make! How about we use my favourite animal as an example: Gorillas!


2. By the way, a big rule in character making is: Make your character simple, cos' you're gonna have to draw him/her/it alot.


3. Anyway, let's make the Gorilla a hero costume. You don't have to be a fashion designer to design hero costumes. If you are having a hard time making a costume, just do the old skool method: Give it a cape! Capes are easy to draw. For more realistic properties, put a knot at the animal's neck, as if the gorilla tied it himself!

So you've thought of an animal hero, huh? Now draw him/her/it out on your doodle pad. After that, write what powers it has at the side of your hero. Here's a few normal powers:

• Kung-fu grip


• Abs of Steel


• Fists 'o' fiery


• Super Vision


• Flight


• Ultra mega super fantastic fashionable cape!

Congrats! You've officially made a hero, right?

WRONG!

You haven't even named him!!! Since you've got an animal hero, follow these tips in animal-hero-naming if you've problems naming it:

• Just add the species name after these titles:


• Example: Super Gorilla


• Captain Cheetah


• Ultra Lion


• If you want to end the name with "man" or "boy" or "woman" or "girl" (example: Kangaroo Man), you've got to make sure your "animal" is either a mutated human+animal or a human wearing an animal suit, just like batman.

NOW you've made a hero. Great work! You get a D- for it, because you took too long to do it! As punishment, I will give you the worst, cruellest, painfullest toture ever!!!!!!!! Bwahahaha!

Cut your toenails and tune in for our next class.

I can't even bear to think of such inhumane torture!

Lesson 1: Comic Basics

Okay, troops... you're not on Kansas anymore... You're on Pandora! Oh wait, no... You're on a nonsensical blog! Anyway, you're here to learn how to make comic books. So let's get started... Oh wait! I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Professor Gerard Phd. (Permanent Head Damage.), and I'm the only teacher here... Anyway, let's get started! What you need to make a comic book:

• Typing Paper (How much? Well, if you want a 4 page comic book, get 2 a4 papers. If you want a 6 page comic book, get 3 a4 papers. If you want an 8 page comic book, get 4 a4 papers. If you want an egg sandwich, eat your paper supply. Get the pattern? Good! By the way, if you find out you need more pages, no sweat! Just get more paper.)


• A stapler with staples (don't ask the shopkeeper for staple BULLETS, cos' he'll freak out and call the police. Believe me, I have experience in that.)


• A pair of scissors (Unless you've got wicked tearing skills.)


• A mighty 2B pencil (Feel the power.)


• An eraser of justice (or the one in your pencil case.)


• Common Sense (I forgot to bring mine.)

My next post will teach you the next step to writing your comic book. Until then, keep brushing your bumble bee's eskimo train!